At NYC Prenup, we love hearing from our clients and followers. Whether it’s a DM on Instagram, a comment on LinkedIn, or a question emailed to our team, we’re always ready to clarify the finer points of prenuptial agreements. In this post, we’re tackling a few more frequently asked questions that we didn’t answer in the last Q and A—including some that don’t appear on our website. Let’s dive in.
Can You Include a “Lifestyle Clause” in a Prenup?
Q: I’ve been watching a lot of classic Desperate Housewives lately… What’s the deal with “lifestyle clauses”? I’ve heard some include rules about staying thin or quitting smoking. Do these actually exist?
A: The short answer: Yes, lifestyle clauses exist... But just because something is possible doesn’t mean it’s practical, or enforceable. While great for drama T.V, lifestyle clauses are a little less glamorous in real everyday life.
Lifestyle clauses are provisions in prenuptial agreements that outline behavioral expectations. Think: “No smoking,” “Must maintain a certain weight,” or “Mandatory date nights.” While they may sound glamorous or dramatic, especially when celebrities use them, they’re rarely recommended for everyday couples.
Why? Firstly, At NYC Prenup, we believe prenups should support healthy communication, not replace it. Instead of mandating behavior, we encourage couples to use the prenup process to talk openly about values, expectations, and long-term goals. Want to commit to regular date nights or shared financial planning? Great. But those agreements are better suited for your vows than your legal documents. We want to help you with your pre-matrimonial needs and prenup agreement, but we do not like seeing any of you again for divorce proceedings! The prenuptial agreement is not meant to take the place of honest healthy discussion.
Secondly, because enforcing them is complicated. Depending on state law, reasonableness, and a whole list of factors, courts may or may not uphold them. Overall, it is hard to generally say individual courts and judges may not see them as punitive, vague, or even contrary to public policy. For example, penalizing a spouse for gaining weight or missing a gym session could be seen as discriminatory or emotionally coercive.
Bottom line: Lifestyle clauses might work for reality TV couples, or celebrities constantly in the public eye but for most people, they’re more likely to cause confusion and hurt feelings than provide clarity. Focus on mutual respect and open dialogue, that’s what builds lasting relationships. When it comes to these types of lifestyle clauses the best policy is to leave them out completely and instead communicate with each other.
What About Children—Ours and Theirs?
Q: We each have kids now, but also plan on possibly having one or two more. What should we include about our children with former partners, and our eventual/hypothetical children?
A: This is a great question, and one that comes up often. While prenups can address many financial and property-related issues, they generally cannot dictate terms related to children in the event of separation.
Here’s why:
• Custody, visitation, and child support are governed by state law and determined by the court based on the child’s best interests at the time of separation.
• In some states, like California, you can’t include any custody or visitation terms in a prenup at all.
• Even in New York, where prenups are more flexible, courts retain final authority over child-related decisions.
That said, you can use your prenup to clarify financial responsibilities related to children, such as college savings plans, inheritance intentions, or life insurance beneficiaries. You can also outline how you’ll manage blended-family finances during the marriage.
Next Steps: What should We Do After Signing?
Q: We’ve finalized our prenup with NYC Prenup and received the signed copy. Now what?
A: First, Congratulations! You’ve taken a proactive step toward building a strong foundation for your marriage. Since you chose to work with our qualified, helpful, and experienced NYC Prenup attorneys, extra kudos to you!
Now that your prenuptial agreement is signed, sealed, and delivered, here’s what to do next:
1. Store It Safely
Keep the original notarized copy in a secure location—like a home office filing cabinet or a fireproof safe. You may also want to give a copy to your estate attorney or store a digital version in a secure cloud folder.
2. Forget About It (For Now)
Seriously. Go enjoy your engagement, plan your wedding, and celebrate your future together. You’ve already done the hard work of discussing finances and expectations.
3. Revisit If Life Changes
If you move to another state, start a business, receive an inheritance, or have children, consider reviewing your prenup. In some cases, a postnuptial agreement may be appropriate to update your terms.
Overall, put it in your home office filing cabinet, and forget about it! Get back to the important stuff- wedding planning and gown fittings! Go ahead and plan that golf course bachelor party you swore you’d never have. We won’t judge.
Prenuptial agreements aren’t just for the rich and famous. They’re for couples who care enough to plan ahead, communicate clearly, and protect each other from life’s unexpected twists. Whether you’re curious about lifestyle clauses, blended families, or what happens after signing, NYC Prenup is here to guide you every step of the way.
We at NYC Prenup cannot wait to get started helping you create your document, email us today prenup@nycprenup.com!