Prenup Issues for New Yorkers

While reviewing online posts about finances, marriage, divorce, law and New York City Statistics, we came across a couple quotes from forums that we found interesting, pertinent and/or relevant- and thought we would share.

ISSUE #1 - On whether or not to have a prenuptial agreement.  

ANSWER - Yes, we have one.  I'd have seriously reservations about getting married without one. Honestly, marriage is a personal or religious commitment and a business one. They're separate parts. Be as romantic as you want to with the first part. The second is a business arrangement, and (legally) you're fooling yourself to ignore that aspect of it.

Should things not work out, you have two choices:

  • Have decided how to divest everything beforehand, on good terms. (prenup).
  • Do it under duress, possibly have someone else (the courts) decide for you if you can't reach an agreement. (no prenup)  

    (Source: / Financial Independence forum)


    ISSUE #2 - In a web forum on relationships, a man describes his current predicament. He says, I am a “trust fund baby”. However, at the current time, he has not yet had access to the money, and so his lifestyle is relatively normal/simple, living on an average income. He is dating a woman whom he is about to propose to. She has no clue that he has this inheritance sitting in the bank- mostly because, he says, he doesn’t really feel like it’s his yet, and because he doesn’t like the idea of being “rich” affecting his relationships. He wants a prenuptial agreement, he says, not because he thinks that they will get divorced one day, but because the money is a result of “my grandparents working their [you know whats] off, and so I don’t really feel like it will be mine to give half away in the event of a divorce. When he mentioned a prenup to the girlfriend in casual conversation, she seemed to be very put off by it. He asks the other members of the relationship forum for advice in handling the situation. A lot of people did not really address the prenup thing and were a little peeved that he hadn’t divulged the fact that he was a “trust fund” inheritor but that isn’t really germane to our topic. So, on the topic of the prenup, here is what one of them had to say.

    ANSWER - So, I have some experience with this from your fiancee's perspective. I had more time (years) to get accustomed to the (very non-romantic) idea of a prenup and do my research accordingly…... Yes, talking about your possible divorce before even getting married is upsetting. BUT, a prenup can be designed to protect her and your future children as much as it protects you. This is what you need to explain to her. It would be irresponsible of her to not negotiate a prenup, given your circumstances. If, for whatever reason, your divorce is nasty, you have the financial means to destroy her and really hurt your children. I hope you're not a vindictive ******* (as I hope my husband isn't), but being protected from that possibility is very important……. the prenup can protect your future children from your possibly nasty future self. Child support for unborn children can not be negotiated in a prenup, but education can. I don't want to believe that my husband would ever be angry enough to punish his children during a divorce, but, as a good mother, I need to ensure that won't happen.

    [Source: / Relationships forum]