Discussing Money Prior to Marriage

Surveys of American couples show time and again that the primary relationship stressor is money. We know you aren’t shocked by this; we’ve even said it here on our blog before. However, this fact is certainly thought provoking for engaged couples. If a relationship can be so gravely affected by something tangible and absolutely within our control, then it makes the responsible couple able to be proactive about the issue. This is something that is avoidable with a lot of open dialogue and some good planning. Financial stability reigns supreme when it comes to helping a relationship stay on solid ground and having the prenup talk will help build some of that foundation. Money determines how we are able to live, raise children, where we can live. It determines what we eat, where we eat, and the way we make decisions about buying presents, and making big ticket purchases can be a decision that you and your soon to be spouse want to come to an agreement on.

Forty (40%) percent of women in the United States are primary earners in their home, and in New York City, that number is even higher, coming in somewhere around fifty (50%) percent. That’s pretty amazing for women to have come to this point in economic standing in just a few decades. And yet, time and again, even if the woman in the relationship is the greater earning spouse, financial experts say that women report a greater degree of anxiety about bringing up the topic. This makes the prenuptial agreement even more salient; because being a successful woman in this city takes the type of fortitude that a strong relationship is also built upon. The prenuptial agreement planning and completion process actually puts it in black and white terms that can help take the guesswork out of your financials.

If you’re reading this blog, you’re probably someone who is already at least thinking about money, and the way it is going to affect your marriage. It is good for our clients, and potential clients, to gain insight into why the money talk is so difficult for a large number of people.

We also see a lot of individuals who feel that opening up their private financial documents to someone else as more intimate than letting them read a personal journal. We understand, especially since we have been niche attorneys in this field for many years.

In terms of your data and web privacy, NYC Prenup spares no expense in hiring server providers to ensure the encryption of all data and documents. We guarantee the safety of your information with us. Your information is sent directly to the secured inbox of one of our experienced, New York prenuptial attorney lawyers, who personally handles all of your documents in his or her office, and they never travel anywhere outside of their desk, and back to yours. We are grateful for and respectful of the fact that you are entrusting us with your most vital personal information.

In terms of trust, creating a prenuptial agreement with your partner says more about the trust in your relationship than it says about anything else. It says to your partner, I’m opening up myself to complete transparency. Here is my situation, and here is where I see us going, together. And, if unforeseen circumstances do occur, here is what we can do to ensure that we are both in a safe and comfortable place. In its most basic form, a prenuptial agreement with your partner is one of the most beneficial actions you can take for your relationship.

If you have a partner that doesn’t want to share something, or agree to something that you place a high value upon as a condition of the prenup, it can tell you a lot about where your relationship is at, and where perhaps a deeper conversation needs to happen; relationships are work and the prenup process can be a tool in that journey.

Safety in a relationship comes from many attributes among the parties, but one of them is the sense that the other person takes your wellbeing into consideration at all times and wants to be responsible for protecting you from things that the world brings. Safety is knowing that the other person understands you, and won’t expose you to anything that would make you feel hurt, upset, or uncomfortable. Safety is giving you the peace of mind that he or she isn’t hiding anything.

Of course everyone has the right to a private life, private parts of his or her day, that is part of what keeps people grounded in their own identity and not codependent. However- and this is a BIG however- not when it comes to finances once you’re married! This is just asking for trouble. If he doesn’t want to talk about it, this is a RED FLAG! If you don’t want to talk about it, write out the reasons why. Take the situation on as you would a business meeting, and organize your thoughts in the least emotional way possible. It could just be some baggage; maybe you’ve talked about money in the past and it went poorly. Maybe you’re neglecting to share credit card debt, nervous that you will scare the other partner away, or the interest rate on your student loan. Give you partner the courtesy of knowing what they are dealing with, because they will be dealing with it, whether they know it or not. We value being able to be a part of this process.

NYC Prenup attorneys are standing by to assist you with all of your New York prenuptial agreement needs. Contact us today!